That’s One Sick Momma

It was late when I finally got the boys home from soccer. My wife met us at the door and I greeted her with a kiss on the lips. It had been a long day and I wanted her to know she had been missed. I kissed her again. There were groans from somewhere inside […]

The MAWG and Mansplaining

This is for my people: MAWGS. Not familiar with the term? It stands for Middle Age White Guy. Times are tough for us middle-aged white guys, not that anyone is going to feel sorry for us. In a Baskin-Robbins a MAWG is the lonely vanilla ice cream at the end of the display case. Vanilla […]

A Bunker in the Sky

We took our Thanksgiving break with my wife’s family in Gulf Shores this year, where my in-laws own a condo. It was a large group and two more condos were needed. One of them, the one my crew stayed in, belonged to a friend of the family and was in the same building as […]

Floaters and Frogs

I gave my wife a good Cuban Screw. It had been a hectic week and I felt like she deserved to relax. The Cuban Screw was an impromptu decision, and one necessitated by the supplies at hand. No wine. No vodka. Plenty of orange juice. And a weird bottle of rum we had been gifted […]

Vacation Truth

When I go on vacation I always tell myself this will be the time when I get my life together, even if only for a short while. Somehow, I will escape the crazy and chaotic life I lead and enjoy one week of a calm and serene existence. I will exercise on the […]

The Graduate

(I wrote this last week prior to my son’s graduation.) I was sitting on the front steps of my parent’s house. My best friend was there as a witness. My first son was teetering on his feet before us, then he wiped out onto the driveway. Grabbing my best friend’s arm before […]

Jokers to the Left of Us, A Clown to the Right

When was the last time you saw a clown in a police car? A real clown? With the red nose and the painted face and rainbow colored hair? Not a handcuffed clown in the backseat of a squad car. I’m talking about a clown in uniform behind the wheel. This would be an actual […]

I’m FED UP… And I Intend to Tweet About it Soon

If I had just one word to sum up the Grammy’s last night I would use… quiet. No, I’m not talking about the actual volume or mic problems or the difficulty these artists faced trying to produce a live version of the canned sound we expect them to make. I just felt like it was […]

The Momma I was Given and the Momma I Got to Choose

“Charles, before you got here I checked every single expiration date to make sure not one thing in there is bad.” My mother-in-law delivered this line with equal parts sugar and salt. I was digging in her refrigerator, putting together a Bloody Mary for my wife. As any decent bartender knows, a good Bloody […]

Mustard Man and Halloween

One of my favorite superheroes is Mustard Man. Not familiar with him? By day he was a mild mannered Jacks Dowdy. On Halloween night, and for a couple of months after, he was busy fighting the dastardly Ketchup Man. What exactly was his superpower? Did he squirt mustard on you while making that unfortunate sound […]