You Don’t Need a Drink, You Need a Laugh

Our country used to be funny. I’m not talking dry funny. What I’m talking about is “pull my finger, fart noise” funny. I’m not sure where we went wrong, but I feel like our “funny” spectrum is a little off kilter. And I feel perfectly comfortable assigning blame.
First, clearly President Obama is at fault. I’m not blaming his policies mind you, I’m talking about him. He’s so wooden and solemn all the time that he’s infected the national persona with his seriousness. Would it kill him to answer a question about Congress in pantomime? You know, as long as he warned the Secret Service. It isn’t like he has the weight of the world on his shoulders or anything. I’m afraid Mr. Obama is responsible for lots of people not being funny anymore.
Next up, I’m blaming President Bush. The young one. Yeah, yeah, he did lots of funny stuff, but not on purpose. Actually, I blame him for bringing us Dick Cheney. Seriously, have you ever tried to make torture funny? It is hard to “kill” a room while you are literally killing in that room. You know what I’m saying? I propose that from this point forward any time Dick Cheney does an interview he has to do it holding a helium balloon. Anderson Cooper will ask some question about water-boarding and Cheney has to suck down some helium before he can answer it. He already sounds a bit like Donald Duck, so it’ll be Donald Duck doing Donald Duck while talking about torture. At the very least that’ll be cute or something.


Speaking of Anderson, I saw some of his bits with Kathy Griffin on New Year’s Eve. (Not THOSE bits but I totally understand what Kathy was up to.) Do they pay her overtime for that gig? They should because she is working WAY too hard. You’re not covering an Ebola outbreak, Anderson, it is New Year’s Eve!!! Put one of those silly hats, knock back some champagne and work on with that strange giggle.
I also blame Benedict Cumberbatch’s Sherlock Holmes and my oldest son. He introduced me to the show, so instead of thinking about being “funny” this weekend I’ve been solving murders and chasing Moriarty while never getting out of my pajamas. What a barrel of laughs. Thanks a lot.
On that note, I blame the binge watching of anything. Like binge drinking, at first it seems like such a good idea.
I blame the Kardashians. Because making the amounts of money you people make behaving the way you behave is REALLY not funny… and yet it is hilarious at the same time, if that makes any sense. (I call it the Donald Trump Effect. Speaking of, Kim Jong-Un is not funny, but I give him credit for trying with that haircut.)
I blame Steve Martin for the country not being funny enough. Talk about a guy who has gone way too high-brow with his funny stuff. Steve, I appreciate that you are a comedic genius and all but right now we could seriously use more of the “wild and crazy guy”. You have become the Prince of comedy. Please bring back 1999. It is like the whole country is waiting for our Superman of funny and all we are getting is Clark Kent. At the very least you could put out “Father of the Bride Four”.
I blame “consciously uncoupling” and “unconsciously coupling” for our predicament. One is not funny. The other one is REALLY not funny and we hear about both of them ALL the time. And guns usually don’t bring a laugh. Disease doesn’t elicit so much as a chuckle. And on and on.
Let’s face it, society is and always has been sick. But right now there is WAY too much out there that is not funny. That’s why we need help. We need to let our hair down and giggle. Didn’t someone say laughter is the best medicine? I don’t totally buy that, but it’s got to be up there near the top. Truthfully, prescription drugs remain the best medicine. (If you need them. They are not the best medicine if you don’t.)
So find a reason to laugh today. I beg you. Sit down with your family and turn on a Charlie Brown special and laugh. Any of them will do. Just laugh and laugh and laugh until it doesn’t make sense. Laugh until you hurt. Laugh when you wake up. Laugh before you go to sleep. Laugh during supper. Laugh while you are having sex. Laugh after sex, unless you already do that, then do something else. Laugh when you are talking to the IRS or a bill collector or your child’s teacher. Just laugh and laugh, and maybe the USA will turn the funny corner once again.
I’m serious about this people, we really need to lighten up.
Jeez, this country misses Charles Schultz…. And Robin Williams.

2 thoughts on “You Don’t Need a Drink, You Need a Laugh

    1. I think I read the same one. It is odd, we have all these “trolls” on the Internet who don’t hesitate to tear people down in the craziest ways, and yet the public at large seems less edgy than ever before.

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